she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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