What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I enjoy the company of your penis
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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