Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
