Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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