He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
