Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
