As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
