Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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