i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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