He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
