I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
