Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
