if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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