I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
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