We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize