dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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