let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
