He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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