tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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