Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
