great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
