I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
