so that wasnt chicken after all
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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