I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
