i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
