I'm really into asian looking animals
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
