haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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