Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
