Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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