I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize