I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
