if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
