College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
