This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
