all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Who died my cat blue again?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
