Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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