dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
