i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
