He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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