You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
