There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
