Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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