She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
