..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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