Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
