I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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