i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
When did angry sex become our thing?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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