I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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