She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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