normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
