I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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