Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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