I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
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