i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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