But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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