she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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