From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
