Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
