remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
