i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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