I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Barsexuality is the new black.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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