i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think i got beer on your cat.
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