I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
This is my gift to your gina
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
