I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
