You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I need a burrito and a hug.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize